A friend of mine suggested that we feature football stars who might not necessarily be hot but are none the less brilliant!  I told my friend that he was high!  It’s called Football Friday hotties.  Got it?  Good.

Stephen Appiah

Enter Ghanian captain, Stephen Appiah!  He’s gotten a lot of flack from the soccer world because he hasn’t been playing consistent professional soccer for over two years so people have been saying he shouldn’t even be captain.  I’m telling these people to get lost, too.  He’s 32 years old, born on Christmas Eve in the impoverished capital, Accra.  He has a clothing label called StephenApp.  They call him the Tornado because he is big and he is strong!  They say he has a strong engine and good tactical awareness.  Yes, we love a man with a strong…ahem…engine

                           

Christiano Ronaldo  Dos Santos Aveiro

Vanity Fair magazine have captured the true spirit of the World Cup, which fits perfectly with our Football Friday Ladies edition, in a scorchio photo shoot with several of the World's greats.  Nothing says World Cup more than hot guys donning nothing but underpants in their national colours.  It is almost impossible for Christiano Ronaldo not to steal the limelight in these pictures, which is why he is being featured as one of this week's hotties.  

Christiano Ronaldo Dos Santos Aveiro was named after US president Ronald Regan, whom Ronaldo's dad admired.  He moved to Lisbon when he was 11 and hit his teacher with a chair once for making fun of his Madeiran accent!  When he joined Manchester United, he actually wanted the no.28 jersey but Alex Ferguson had no hesitation about giving him the no. 7.  Liverpool actually decided that Ronaldo wasn't good enough sign a year before he signed up with United. The Spanish media paid a woman 4,000 euro's to try and bed Ronaldo and spill the beans about it.  Ultimately her feedback proved to be questionable and they dismissed her as having made things up because she had actually not been successful in trapping the star. 

Ricardo "Kaka" Izecson Dos Santos Leite

Also featured in the Vanity Fair shoot, is Ricardo Izecson Dos Santos Leite.  We suggest you call him Kaka.  Grrrr!  His older brother called him Caca when they were younger because he couldn't pronounce Ricardo.  Unlike a lot of Brazilians, Kaka actually grew up in a wealthy family!  He grew up short and thin but worked very hard to put on some muscles, started playing when he was 8, by the way, and he says that he took the job because he believes footballers have a duty to help the poor.  Leigh Ann I believe that footballers also have a duty to women's viewing pleasure.  And ladies, it is important to appreciate this young man, because we were almost robbed of his topless talents:  when he was 18 his career almost came to end after jumping off a diving board into pool and fracturing his spine!   

Kaka married in 2007 and a few days after his wedding, Silvio Berlusconi remarked at the new Mrs Kaka that it was too bad that she was already married.  Silvio, you old dog, you!  

Don't believe us, see for yourself!

RAFAEL VAN DER VAART

Today is the turn of Dutch footballer, Rafael Ferdinand Van Der Vaart, nicknamed Raffie.  He was born in 1983. Van Der Vaart's preference lies with the "older woman".  He married model and actress, Sylvie Van Der Vaart, who is 5 years older than him.  And she's ridiculously hot which is so annoying. He plays for Real Madrid and says his favourite position is central midfield (as opposed to the reverse cowgirl). Anyway, if you're wondering why his first name is Spanish it's because his mother is from Spain, but he actually grew up in a caravan park in the Netherlands living a Gypsy life. Van Der Vaart hosts an annual "Street soccer tournament" in his home town of Kennemers for young kids - which he had to cancel this year because he is going to be here for the World Cup. 

   

DAVID BECKHAM

We all know that David Beckham, aka "D-Beck" as Snoop calls him, is not in the starting line-up for the World Cup - but we don't care because he is the hottest English football player ever! He's a self proclaimed neat freak and is a bit OCD e.g. when he vacuums he says he has to do it in straight lines.  The same straight lines you find on the pitch at Wembley. He cheated with his nanny, Rebecca Loose, which brings us to an interesting observation regarding the English Team:  If there had to be a World Cup for sex scandals England would win it.  They would beat Argentina who have 3 publicised sex scandals, one of them being Diego Maradona who regularly cheated on his wife.  They would also beat Brazil with 5 sex scandals (Remember when Ronaldo was caught with transvestites?)  David, along with Ashly Cole and John Terry, bring the number of England's sex scandals to 11 and still counting!  But they might be looking to lift a different trophy when the World Cup begins in 41 days' time! 

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