Have you ever simply arrived at a point in your life where you sit and think "what am I doing here?" I have recently reached that point, I am sitting here looking after the health and safety of a group of people and can't for the life of me think why. Why am I here? What am I doing here? This is compounded by the fact that the one person who needs me, scratch that, I need is more than 2000km's away.

I've been trying to find the answer to the question for a few days now without success. There used to be a time that I enjoyed doing the work I do, traveling from country to country ensuring people are healthy and do their jobs safely now, it seems a distant foolish memory.

Life has changed for me, I have an amazing wife and my first child is due to be born in a little more than a month. This might compound me questioning myself and my line of work but it's not the cause. Everyday I wake up at 05:30, get in the company vehicle at 06:30 and head to work. A routine I have grown to loath, hate actually. Hate is a more fitting word.

While I am aware we can't have our bread buttered on both sides, and the good must be accompanied by the bad to balance life out. I don't think I have ever hated my work situation as much as I currently do. Might be the continuous and daily struggle to get basic shit sorted with little to no back up from the top. I don't really know and can't answer my question. For those that know me, you will understand how much it infuriates me not having the answers.

Ah well, sitting here moaning and bitching about something I can't change right now will probably be just as effective as pissing into the wind. For now, I will just have to grin and bear it. Nothing more I can do right now, hopefully things will have looked up next time I decide to put my finger on the keyboard to share my thoughts on here.